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A Tragedy And Missed Opportunity in Missouri

3/5/2015

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I like Schweich. I want to say that first so that there is no question where I stand as I write this. I really liked Tom Schweich--Missouri's state auditor and recent gubernatorial candidate. I thought he would make an awesome Governor for Missouri. There has never been--and most likely--will never be a greater or more fearless auditor than Tom Schweich.

I hate that he is gone and I am so saddened by his family’s loss beyond words.

What added insult to injury for me was Sen. John Danforth’s liberal spewing of hatred at the funeral on Tuesday... in his eulogy. Not only did the former Senator-turned-Episcopal-Priest fuel the fire for our local media to push their agenda of dividing Missouri Republicans, but he also laid the blame at the feet of other human beings—who no doubt—feel horrible about this tragic loss.

Interesting though, how Sen. Danforth can in one moment criticize the harshness of politics and demand that we pursue a kinder, gentler way of campaigning—all the while he shamelessly lays blame of Tom’s death on fellow Republicans. In my opinion, John Hancock is no more to blame for Tom’s death than John Danforth. Senator, you admitted you didn’t think Tom could handle the life of public politics. Yet, what did you do to stop him? How far back do you want to go in blaming others for the actions of an individual with free choice? This “anti-bullying” BS is what needs to stop. No one is responsible for another person’s suicide. In the end, we all make the choice based on our emotions, mental state, fears, and faith.

I am so upset—like many others—that this happened. It sounds crazy, but it would be easier to accept that someone murdered Tom than to accept his suicide. My “well-balanced” brain finds it difficult to understand why someone goes to this extreme. It’s a natural tendency to want to blame others when things like this happen, but sometimes we have to accept the unacceptable.

It is a tragedy…an utter tragedy. Maybe what the Reverend Danforth should have said (if his words had truly been guided by God) was that this is an opportunity for us to draw together, instead of pushing us apart. God bless you, Tom, and thank you for your service to us.

Where there is love there is triumph in tragedy.

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Seeking Joy Before It's Too Late

12/23/2014

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This year marks the second Christmas without my dad. Last year I was in a very different place emotionally. I didn't want a tree or any reminder of Christmas cheer. I wanted to be sad. What's the point in celebrating when Dad wasn't here with us?

This year, something has changed in me. I was anxious to put up my tree and break out the holly. I'm seeking joy this year. Yes, I still miss my dad more than anything and I hate moving forward without him, but I know I have to live among the living. I know life is short and I don't want to look back with any regrets.

My message to you is to enjoy this holiday season. Make the most of the time with your family and friends. Relish the time you have with them. It is precious and fleeting! Love is all we truly have in this life. It's the only thing that lasts (despite what Scarlett O'Hara's father said). It binds us all together and makes the whole experience worthwhile.

Have a loving and magical Christmas season! May it last all year through! Where there is love there is Christmas!
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Hands Together

12/4/2014

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I'm lying in bed sick today with a terrible sore throat. Couldn't sing a note if my life depended on it! Hate that. I realized a few moments ago what the date was-- December 4. Anniversary of the day I lost my baby. I was six weeks along, hanging Christmas lights when the feeling that something was wrong came over me. Some would think it was no great loss to lose a fetus, but I'm here to tell you to never discount what you haven't experienced yourself. Loss of life is a great loss...anytime.

I'm constantly reading and watching commentary on Michael Brown's death in Ferguson, MO and the decision by the grand jury not to pursue an indictment of Officer Darren Wilson. My heart goes out to Michael's parents who will grieve the loss of their son forever. It is a tragic loss no matter how you look at it.

What's puzzling me more is how we will recover from this incident as a nation--as human beings. The things I see going on makes me wonder if we can ever heal and find a way to overcome racial divisions. Having been a baby in the late 60's I thought I'd seen great progress in our society as whites and blacks began to work, eat, and sleep side by side. TV shows reflected our progress in popular sitcoms. Movies, such as "Blazing Saddles" mocked racial prejudice, and WE ALL LAUGHED AT IT! We laughed because we knew it was behind us. Or so I thought.

I still think our racial judgments are behind us, but that certain elements are trying to keep hatred alive. I know, for instance, that the town of Ferguson is made up of a majority of citizens who love their town, respect each other and want only to live peacefully--black and white. But evil lurks in the form of Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, the Black Panthers, and others whose only existence is upheld by keeping divisions and hatred flowing.

I have hope that we can overcome this hatred. Instead of "Hands up, don't shoot" we should be saying "Hands Together". We need to remember that the majority of society believes in love and wants peace and doesn't judge. The only way to defeat this evil is to stand together and stop believing the lies that Sharpton and the rest want us to embrace. The only way to change the world is to change ourselves. I'm the only person I have control over, and therefore, I have to take responsibility for myself and my actions. Can we close our ears to the message of hate? Can we open our hearts and take the hand of whoever is standing next to us instead? Where there is love there is healing. Where there is love hatred cannot exist.

 


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Out of the depths I cry to you Lord

7/11/2014

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Goodreads.com has a new feature for its authors. It's called Ask The Author. Today I had about 5 questions on my page. The first one was, "Where did you get your idea for your most recent book?" I decided that the answer would be my blog for today.

The idea for my most recent book came out of a dark time in my life. I was struggling with a lot of questions and uncertainty. Without giving too much away, I'll just say that I sat down one morning and started writing about a character who would end up being Julie in my book, Where There is Love. If you've read it then you understand that Julie has a lot of dark spots in her life and struggles with her understanding of love and acceptance. I kept expanding this early writing about Julie and at one point thought the whole thing was silly and almost deleted it. I decided that it would be better to hold onto it and just not look at it for a while. Before long other ideas were popping into my head that could help me create the entire story. I couldn't fight it. In fact, I became so involved with the story and the characters I almost felt obsessed. After the book was published it took me a while to get where I didn't think about them every moment of every day like they were my closest friends. The characters seem very real to me still and there are days when I miss them! Ha!

Where there is love there is God.

Out of the depths I cry to you Lord...Psalm 130:1



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Would You Give Up Your Freedom?

7/3/2014

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Freedom…one of my all-time favorite words.

In my book Where There Is Love, my character
Julie is an individual who is extremely independent. She is a beautiful
intelligent woman. However, her Achilles’ heel—you might say— is her need for
emotional attachment…to feel loved and admired. She doesn’t recognize her
strength and abilities to go it alone. Without realizing it, Julie gives up or
trades in her freedom and independence for the chance to be loved—or at least
what she thinks of as love. Julie is a good example of the prostitute archetype,
which you can read about in detail in the Caroline Myss book Sacred
Contracts
.

 It’s all too easy to give up our freedoms, our independence, and
the very person our spirit intends us to be for affection, material wealth,
fame, or security. It’s much more comfortable to be taken care of than to
accept personal responsibility for ourselves. But does that sort of bartering
bring true happiness?

In honor of Independence Day, I pose a question to you. Have you
ever traded your independence, your rights as an American, or even a bit of your
soul in order to achieve wealth, gain comfort, or find success? Oh, come on, you
know you have! Think about it. Have a great
holiday!


Where there is love there is freedom.

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You Gotta Love a Film about Love

6/27/2014

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PictureScene from "Meet Joe Black"--Universal Pictures, City Light Films
 What is it about a love story that transcends time or death? We love them, right? Why? Is it  because we want so desperately to believe that there’s something out there that will make all happy endings come true? Don’t ask me. I’m in the dark like all the rest of you. I’m just hopeful. That’s why I wrote about it in “Where There is Love”.

From the several wonderful reviews I’ve had recently on my book, “Where There is Love” one comment keeps standing out. She said she couldn’t wait to see this story on the big screen. Me too! My dream is to see this story played out in film as I’ve seen it so many times playing in my head.

Until Hollywood discovers this great work of literature I’ve created, we’ll just have to settle for what’s out there now. What are your favorite films that portray love’s transcendence? Here are my top five in no particular order. Feel free to comment.

  1. The Lake House

  2. Wuthering Heights

  3. Somewhere In Time

  4. Meet Joe Black

  5. The Time Traveler’s Wife

Where there is love there is hope.


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Character Profile--Helen from Where There Is Love

6/20/2014

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Helen grew up in a much simpler time than today. She had no inward struggles about who she was going to be or what she would do with her life. She knew she would be someone’s wife—David’s. She’d be a mother and her life would be defined by her love and her family. She had no thoughts of becoming a writer, a teacher, a chef. She had no desire to change the world. She was simply going to marry the love of her life and make a home for them.

Many women today would frown on that concept I am guessing. I know for me that it would not be enough to satisfy me. But let’s think about it for a moment—mull it over. Helen discovered the love of her life—her soul mate—in her childhood. Wow! How many people do that? Imagine knowing from almost birth that the person you love most in the world has already been found. How many of us spend our entire lives searching for that person? I’m guessing that search alone takes up at least 75-85% of your lifetime energy. After all, what is life without love? Then there is her desire to be a mother of several children and make a home for them. If you’re a mother then you know the answer to this one already. To be a mother, you must become a writer, a teacher, a chef, along with nurse, maid, and a motivational speaker at the very least. And again, having children just gives you more opportunity to love another human being.

Changing the world? How many of us feel that we’re doing that in our chosen careers? And how many of us sell motherhood short as a less-than-vital contribution to society? But I ask you, where would any of us be without the encouragement, caring, and wisdom of our mothers? Tell me that is not a career that doesn’t influence the world!

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My Father's Day Card

6/13/2014

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There is very little written to describe the male characters in my book. They are all secondary to the female characters, so I did not dwell on their descriptions or their emotions. However that does not diminish their contribution to the story. Without them the book just wouldn’t be what it is.

With Father’s Day approaching, my thoughts of course are turning to my dad. He was sort of a secondary character in my life, yet he managed to contribute a great deal without me realizing it at the time. My father was an alcoholic. He was not mean or abusive. He was a quiet drunk, and most of the time he was gone from the house so he could feed his habit without interference from us. So, growing up he never felt like a main character in my story. He was just there in the background—a source of income for our family’s survival. At least that’s the credit I gave him as a child.

Father’s Day always presented a challenge for me as an adult shopping for a card for my dad. He was not the “Hallmark” dad. He wasn’t the “Dad, you were always there for me” type, or the “We’ve shared so much over the years” type either. In fact many times I would find the best card for him under the category of “For Anyone” or “Briefly Stated”.

I often thought I should write my own cards for Dad because of our unique situation, but I never took the time. So, last year when I was sitting in the ICU waiting room while he struggled to survive his latest heart episode, I sat down and wrote this:

Dad, you weren’t there to coach my ball teams. You weren’t the athletic type. You were more the “sit in the pool, smoke cigarettes, and drink beer” type. You weren’t the loving, emotional, over-protective father either. You were more of the laid back, quiet man who rarely offered words of wisdom or—God forbid—saying “I love you”.

Still my belief that you could fix anything gave me the confidence I needed to learn skills that made me a stronger, more independent person. You knew how to bring out the beauty of an old car, a gun, or a piece of wood. I learned to see beauty and value in things that others might overlook. And looking back I see the patience that you had to accomplish so many things. You inspire me to take more time and work through obstacles that tend to frustrate me.

No, there will most likely never be a Hallmark category for who you are and all you mean to me. You may not have been Hallmark perfection, but you were God’s perfect gift for me. I am who I am not just because of your contributions, but for all of your weaknesses as well.

I never gave this message to my father. He passed away in April of 2013. I just told him I loved him every night before we left him.

So, to all you fathers out there…don’t fret too much that you may be a secondary character in your child’s life. Without you their book just wouldn’t be what it is. Where there is love there is unconditional acceptance.

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New Orleans--the city that haunts me

6/6/2014

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My story took a turn for me somewhere in the middle of writing it, when I decided to let one of my characters be led to the great city of New Orleans. To me there is no better city to depict love, mystery, and spirituality than New Orleans, Louisiana. I fell in love with the city the first time I visited it in 2008. It has haunted me ever since. There’s just something about it that keeps drawing me back—whether that’s the amazing food, the music, the architecture, the history, or the energy of so many artists’ souls that linger in the background—it never ceases to envelope me in its warmth when I am there.

I’ve enjoyed several return visits to New Orleans. Each time I take my camera with me and spend countless hours photographing the French Quarter, the cemetery, and the Garden District. I have a treasure trove of photographs that I hope to turn into its own book someday.

New Orleans turned out to be the perfect backdrop for Hannah’s search for love in Where There Is Love. Because I have visited the city so many times since that first chance meeting I was able to see Hannah strolling through the streets experiencing the sights, sounds, tastes and interesting inhabitants. The character, Hannah, is a young woman who’s freshly out of college. Although far from naïve, Hannah has been raised in a pretty conservative atmosphere. I love the contrast between her character and the city of Voodoo! But does Hannah’s true love live in New Orleans or has her heart simply been manipulated? You’ll have the read the book to find out. After you’ve read Where There Is Love I’d like to hear your comments on whether I effectively brought you a little taste of my favorite city. It’s a magical place and it’s bound to cast a spell on you too if you ever dare to visit!

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How to Stop Worrying...and how Dale Carnegie changed my life

6/5/2014

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How to Stop Worrying and Start LivingHow to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Probably the one book that changed my life the most. I grew up in a protective household. Being undersized and somewhat sickly as a child I believe my parents may have sheltered me too much and in the process made me afraid of just about everything.

As an adult, my fears dictated every decision I made, which usually was a bad thing. I ran across this book in the public library one day when I decided I needed to make a change.

Carnegie's guidance inspired me to stretch and grow into a stronger human being. I still mentally refer to his words even 25 years later. I know I am the person I am today--living a very full life--because of this book.

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